Dear Sis,

Toward the end of October I visited the midwife for my postpartum check. The physical healing was doing well, but we discovered that I’ve been experiencing some postpartum depression.

In recent weeks, I have felt unsettled and weepy. I searched for the source of my discontent, and tried to remedy it, in the physical world, upsetting loved ones in the process. I feel foolish looking back and realizing that the source may well have been biological chemistry!

It was difficult for me to accept depression medication. We were raised to believe that depression is the result of poor choices, laziness, or some other external cause. I took council with other mothers, and asked them about their postpartum recovery in relation to depression. What I discovered, among my family and friends: struggling with depression postpartum is extremely common, and until recent years, untreated. 

I decided, if there was a way to make this journey easier for my loved ones and myself, I should accept the remedy. However, Josh and I both felt a need for caution. Could I start a new medication, and take care of our 1 month old and toddler, all in the same week that he returned to work? We decided to reach out to Aunt Cil. I called her and asked her if she’d like to babysit me for the week. 

On the 26th, we made the 2.25 hour drive to Aunt Cil’s. We were greeted by a full house of cousins, Aunt Cil, and Uncle Rob. 

On the evening of the 27th, we walked to a local park with cousin Meghan.

On the 28th, William spent the day with two kids Aunt Cil was babysitting. The little girl was very taken with Charlotte. She was always asking, “See baby!” William was all too excited to follow around an older boy:)

On the 30th, Aunt Cil took me to Goodwill and watched William while I tried to find a few things to extend my very limited sizing down postpartum wardrobe. Since the majority of my pregnancy was through the summer, I was extremely unprepared for the chill of autumn and winter!

Aunt Angel, stalled her departure on that afternoon, so she could get more baby cuddles:) 

On the 31st, we went to a Trick or Treat story time and craft at the library. We have now been to story time in four different states! That night it snowed, so not many folks ventured out to Trick or Treat. Uncle Rob took William to seven houses before they got to cold to continue:) The rest of the evening, William rushed to greet the kids that rang the door bell for treats.

Today, Daddy came to pick us up and bring us home. A change of scenery, some time to talk with a bunch of women, and a break from housework and meal preparation responsibilities was nice. Charlotte is only six weeks old! I’m sure things will get easier as she grows and my body has more time to put itself right:)

As a second time mom, I am seeing motherhood in a new light. It’s hard, even on the good days! It makes me value all the moms that have come before me that much more. Moms are amazing!!!!

Love,

b